My first day as an escort, my first "date" had only
one leg. He’d gone to a gay bathhouse, to get warm, he told me. Maybe for other
things, I think. And he’d fallen asleep in the steam room, too close to the
heating clement. He’d been unconscious for hours until some one found him. Until
the meat of his left thigh was completely and thoroughly cooked. He couldn’t
walk. but his mother was coming, from Wisconsin to see him, and the hospice
needed someone to cart the two of them around to visit the local tourist sights.
Go shopping downtown. See the beach. This is all you could do as a volunteer if
you weren’t a nurse or a cook or a doctor. You were an escort,
and this was the place where young people with no insurance went to die. The
hospice name, I don’t even remember. It wasn’t on any signs anywhere, and they
asked you to be discreet coming and going because the neighbors didn’t know what
was going on in the enormous old house on their street, a street with its share
of crack houses and drive-by shootings, still nobody wanted to live next door to
this: four people dying in the living room, two in the dining room. At least two
people lay dying in each utpstairs bedroom and there were a lot of bedrooms. At
least half these people had AIDS, but the house didn’t discriminate. You could
come here and die of anything. The reason I was there was my
job. This meant laying on my back on a creeper with a 200-pound class 8 diesel
truck driveline laying on my chest and running down between my legs as far as my
feet. My job is I had to roll under trucks as they crept down an assembly line,
and I installed these drivelines. Twenty-six drivelines every eight hours.
Working fast as each truck moved along, pulling me into the huge blazing hot
paint ovens just a few feet down the line. My degree in
Journalism couldn’t get me more than five dollars an hour. Other guys in the
shop had the same degree, and we joked how liberal arts degrees should include
welding skills so you’d at least pick up the extra two bucks an hour our shop
paid grunts who could weld. Someone invited me to their church, and I was
desperate enough to go, and at the church they had a potted ficus they called a
Giving Tree, decorated with paper ornaments, each ornament printed with a good
deed you could choose. My ornament said: Take a hospice patient on a
date. That was their word, "date". And there was a phone
number. I took the man with one leg, and his mother, all over
the area, to scenic viewpoints, to museums, his wheel chair folded up in the
back of my fifteen-year-old Mercury Bobcat. His mother smoking, silent. Her son
was thirty years old, and she had two weeks of vacation. At night, I’d take her
back to her Travel Lodge next to the freeway, and she’d smoke, sitting on the
hood of my car, talking about her son already in the past tense. He could play
the piano, she said. In school, he earned a degree in music, but ended up
demonstrating electric organs in shopping mall stores. These
were conversations after we had no emotions left. I was
twenty-five years old, and the next day I was back under trucks with maybe three
or four hours sleep. Only now my own problems didn’t seem very bad, Just looking
at my hands and feet, marveling at the weight I could lift, the way I could
shout against the pneumatic roar of the shop, my whole life felt like a miracle
instead of a mistake. In two weeks, the mother was gone home.
In another three months, her son was gone. Dead, gone. I drove
people with cancer to see the ocean for their last time. I drove people with
AIDS to the top of Mount Hood so they could see the whole world while there was
still time. I sat bedside while the nurse told me what to look
for at the moment of death, the gasping and unconscious struggle of someone
drowning in their sleep as renal failure filled their lungs with water. The
monitor would beep every five or ten seconds as it injected morphine into the
patient. The patient’s eyes would roll back, bulging and entirely white. You
held their cold hand for hours, until another escort came to the rescue or until
it didn’t matter. What can we know about the hospice that the author worked in
A. Nobody wanted to live in it.
B. Many young people were going to die there.
C. It had no name and no signs.
D. Nobody wanted to know what’s going on in it.