TEXT E
Mornings at
Seven For several years now my newsagent has been spelling my
name incorrectly. Every morning I glance hopelessly at the top right - hand
corner of my newspaper and wince. There is something vaguely uplifting about
seeing one’s own name, one ‘s correct name written out in blue pencil at the top
of a newspaper; and there is something litterly degrading about seeing one’s
name carelessly distorted. I have mentioned the matter to my newsagent several
times, but it makes no difference. He is a surly, militant, independent devil, a
monopolist of the worst kind. He does not realise of course that
his carelessness causes me endless trouble and no little embarrassment. I take
my newspaper to the office, I read it on the train, and the people with whom I
travel mispronounce my name because they have only the newsagent’s written
instruction to goon. When I fail to recognise my spoken name they look at me
suspiciously -- as though I have momentarily forgotten my latest
alias. I used to rub out the newsagent’s blue pencillings before
I left home, but modern newsprint does not stand up to modern erasers for long
and my paper was always very much the worse for wear when I reached the station.
For a few weeks I drafted an imaginary dog whenever I unfolded the newspaper in
public. My travelling companions and office colleagues remained puzzled,
however. Some of them seemed to think that I was leading a double life; the
rest, that I was robbing somebody’s letter-60X on my way to work.
Later I tried crossing out the newsagent’s mark and writing my correct
name underneath it, but even this move was misinterpreted. At the office it was
assumed that I made a practice of collecting discarded newspapers from the train
and passing them off as my own. No one actually said as much, but action
sometimes speak louder than words. Naturally, I could not tell
the newsagent of all these things. He would have laughed me out of the shop. I
could only repeat my earlier protest... I was at the shop early.
He was standing behind the counter, and as soon as I saw him I knew that there
would be some unpleasantness. Mr Higson is never at his best unshaven, in
slippers atmosphere and braces, and smoking on an empty stomach. The little shop
was heavy with the bitter - sweet odour of fresh newsprint and ink: stacks of
crisp newspapers and magazines lay neatly on the counter, and Higson and the boy
were making up the daily round. "Express, Mirror and Woman,"
said Higson with his eye on a grubby notebook. The boy collected the newspapers,
flicked the magazine between their pages and placed the folded bundle before his
master. Higson bent and scrawled a name in the top right - hand comer of the
Express -- just to the right of the Crusader in Chains. "Times, Financial Times,
Mail, "he barked. "Good morning, "I said, "Just a small point, I
wonder..." Higson let his blue pencil clatter to the counter and
looked up. "I thought it wouldn’t be long! "be said. "Must be a
week or more since you last changed your order." "I don’t
think..." "No use denying it, "he broke in. "All here in black
and white. "He licked a finger and pushed at the pages of the notebook. "Here we
are," he said. "February 14, Mail instead of Chronicle. March 14, Herald instead
of Mail and cancel Telegraph for eight days. April I, Worker for Herald.
May 26, Times instead of Felegraph, Chronicle instead of Worker. July 21
th.. "Surely, "I said, "I’ve a perfect right to read which
papers I like!" "You and old Topham! "he said.
"What’s Mr Topham to do with it "I said. "Well he’s
another of em. Chop and change, chop and change. Must think I’ve nothing
better to do." "As a matter of fact, "I said, "I called on quite
another matter. I wanted to draw your attention to the fact that there are two
L’s in my name." "You gone and cbanged it again then " he
said. "And I should be obliged if you would spell it properly in
future." "0. K. , 0. K. , "he said. "Two L’s, anything else
while we’re about it How about ordering the Manchester Guardian every other
Friday" "No, that’s all, "I said with all the digmity I could
master. "Chronicle and Graphic," he yelled. "Come on, boy, wake
up! Haven’t got all day!" Half an hour later my newspaper
crashed through the letterbox. In the top right-handed corner, heavily
underlined, was the word "Topham." According to the text the newsagent last wrote out "Topham’on the top right-handed comer of the author’s paper because ______.
A.the newsagent wanted to revenge on the author’s habit of frequently changing the order B.the newsagent was intentional to punish Topham C.the newsagent was careless and opinionated D.the newsagent was reluctant to write the author’s name in a correct way