My kids tell me that I am "so 20th century", which
troubles me. A person likes to feel that he is "with it", as we used to say in
the 20th century. So I have been thinking how I might change
myself into a true 21st-century man. Clearly, in my advanced state of age I
would be foolish to attempt some wild leap into the contemporary fashion. And
anyway, my distinctive taste attracts much favourable comment.
But if my clothing is too characteristic to change, perhaps I should do
something about my lifestyle. So last week I took myself to the NEC for the
Smart Home Show which is "the exhibition dedicated to all the latest trends in
smart home technology". It was a shock. How could I have lived
for half a century without a fingerprint-operated front door ("Never lock
yourself out of your home again!") Or vacuum cleaners that suck dust straight
into a dustbin, via a system of pipes in your house walls (MI you have to do is
rebuild your entire home.) Or automatic garden sprinklers which are so smart
that they turn themselves off when it starts to rain Of course, you could just
look out of the window, observe that it’s raining and turn them off yourself,
but that would be so 20th century. Besides, those were just the
simpler things. For the true smart-home owner, a plasma (等离子) TV fireplace is a
must. At first glance it’s just an electric fire with a mantelpiece, but press
your remote and a giant TV screen rises from the mantelpiece. "Thieves won’t
even know it’s there," a spokesman claimed. Just as well. At ￡5,280, it would be
a pity to have it broken. But the real revolution has happened in the bathroom.
Never again need you feel cut off from world events as you go about your
washing. Forget the mirrors that turn into TV screens. They’re old hat. The buzz
in bathrooms now is all about heated towel-racks that turn into TVs.
Enough! I was convinced: I want a smart home. There’s only one problem:
The cost. You are looking at ￡18,000 to ￡25,000 for an average home. Hmm. I
won’t be entering the 21st century just yet, then. What is the most revolutionary smart home technology according to the
author
A. The plasma TV fireplace.
B. The automatic garden sprinkler.
C. Mirrors that turn into TV screens.
D. Heated towel-racks that turn into TVs.