Over the past century, all kinds of unfairness and
discrimination have been condemned or made illegal. But one insidious form
continues to thrive: alphabctism. This, for those as yet unaware of such a
disadvantage, refers to discrimination against those whose surnames begin with a
letter in the lower half of the alphabet. It has long been
known that a taxi firm called AAAA cars has a big advantage over Zodiac cars
when customers thumb through their phone directories. Less well known is the
advantage that Adam Abbott has in life over Zoe Zysman. English names are fairly
evenly spread between the halves of the alphabet. Yet a suspiciously large
number of top people have surnames beginning with letters between A and
K. Thus the American president and vice-president have surnames
starting with B and C respectively; and 26 of George Bush’s predecessors (
including his father) had surnames in the first half of the alphabet against
just 16 in the second half. Even more striking, six of the seven heads of
government of the G7 rich countries are alphabetically advantaged ( Berlusconi,
Blair, Bush, Chirae, Chretien and Koizumi). The world’s three top central
bankers ( Greenspan, Duisenberg and Hayami) are all close to the top of the
alphabet, even if one of them really uses Japanese characten;. As are the
world’s five richest men (Gates, Buffett, Allen, Ellison and
Albrecht). Can this merely be coincidence One theory, dreamt up
in all the spare time enjoyed by the alphabetically disadvantaged, is that the
rot sets in early. At the start of the first year in infant school, teachers
seat pupils alphabetically from the front, to make it easier to remember their
names. So short-sighted Zysman junior gets stuck in the back row, and is rarely
asked the improving questions posed by those insensitive teachers. At the time
the alphabetically disadvantaged may think they have had a lucky escape. Yet the
result may be worse qualifications, because they get less individual attention,
as well as less confidence in speaking publicly. The humiliation
continues. At university graduation ceremonies, the ABCs proudly get their
awards first; by the time they reach the Zysmans most people are literally
having a ZZZ. Shortlists for job interviews, election ballot papers, lists of
conference speakers and attendees: all tend to be drawn up alphabetically, and
their recipients lose interest as they plough through them. What does the author mean by "most people are literally having a ZZZ" (Lines 2—3, Para- graph 5 )
A.They are getting impatient. B.They are noisily dozing off. C.They are feeling humiliated. D.They are busy with word puzzles.