TEXT C In the beginning, E. Mavis
Hetherington was looking for as much pathology as the next person.
It was the early 1970s, with the American family in free fall, and she
fully expected that her just-launched study. of the impact of divorce would find
dysfunction and plenty of it: parents unable to cope, maladjusted children with
long-term difficulties. By almost any measure-emotional, social or ecademic-"we
expected them to blow it." Yet here’s the surprising thing about
her families, with all their couplings and uncouplings and even recouplings
during the years that followed: the vast majority of parents rebounded from the
pain and upheaval. Resiliency overshadowed pathology. And by the time the
children were young adults, considering marriage and families of their own,
Hetherington discovered at least 75% coping fairly well--some very well--with
life. Divorce, it seems, is not predestined. Now
at the close of her pioneering career, Hetherington, 75, wants to get the word
out. More than that, with the publication of For Better or for Worse: Divorce
Reconsidered, she wants to change the public debate about divorce.
Her book offers reassurance to the millions of Americans who don’t make it
till death does part them. More than 40% of marriage end in divorce, down from
the high record of the 1980s hut hardly a statistic for celebration. The most
decisive aspect has long centered on the harm inflicted on children-irreparable
damage, some researchers contend. Hetherington, a University of
Virginia professor, believes she offers "a more hopeful look, a more realistic
look" at the consequences. She says the hook, authored with New York writer John
Kelly, is neither anti-marriage (though angry e-mails already are accusing her
of such) nor pro-divorce. Rather, it explains the challenges people face and the
diverse choices they make. It doesn’t ignore the downside. While most children
adapt and adjust to their parents’ split, she says, 20% to 25% are left deeply
scarred. "I harbour no doubts about the ability of divorce to
devastate," she writes. "It can and does ruin lives. But that, I also think much
current writing on divorce--both popular and academic--has exaggerated its
negative effects and ignored its sometimes considerable positive
effects." After three decades exploring the most important nexus
of human relations, through the stability or dissolution of nearly 1,400
marriages, she wishes others weren’t so skeptical, "Why are people so afraid to
say that in the long run, people end up living reasonable constructive
lives" Hetherington officially retired three years ago. The
emeritus title relieved the 80-hour weeks she’d maintained at the university
since her sons were little. She continues to write scholarly article, rising at
4 a.m. to begin work in her study--in Longhand, on yellow legal pads--and still
lectures internationally. Hetherington knows that recasting the
way America thinks about divorce won’t be easy or politically popular. The
pendulum swung far right during the 1990’s, with lawmakers debating, and.
sometimes passing, measures to encourage couples to-stay married and prevent
them from divorcing too quickly. "It’s very hard to legislate family
relations," Hetherington says, as dubious now as then. "If we could legislate
family relations, we wouldn’t have people getting married with these unrealistic
expectations about marriage." Far better to understand the
dynamics that sustain and threaten families. Far better, she writes, to accept
that "divorce is a reasonable solution to an unhappy, acrimonious, destructive
marital relationship." Instead of a narrow focus on the hazards, why not
acknowledge that it can be an opportunity to build a better life
"It isn’t a matter of whether the glass is half empty or half full. In the
long run," she concludes, "the glass is three-quarters full of reasonably happy
and competent adults and children, who have been resilient in coping with the
challenges of divorce." The conclusion Professor Hetherington drew from her study is that______.
A.the pain of divorce may prevent one from beginning a better life B.most divorces lead to happy adults and children C.half of divorced people deal successfully with the challenges of divorce D.the challenges of divorce may make one more realistic and sensible