In the old days, children were familiar with birth and death
as part of life. This is perhaps the first generation of American youngsters who
have never been close by during the birth of a baby and have never experienced
the death of a family member. Nowadays when people grow old, we
often send them to nursing homes. When they get sick, we transfer them to a
hospital, where children are forbidden to visit terminally-ill patients even
when those patients are their parents. This deprives (剥夺) the dying patient of
significant family members during the last few days of his life and it deprives
the children of an experience of death, which is an important learning
experience. Some of my colleagues and I once interviewed and
followed approximately 300 terminally-ill patients in order to learn how we
could be of best help, not just to them but to the members of their families as
well. We were most impressed by the fact that even those patients who were not
told of their serious illness were quite aware of its potential
outcome. It is important for family members, and doctors and
nurses to understand these patients’ communications in order to truly understand
their needs, fears, and fantasies. Most of our patients welcomed another human
being with whom they could talk openly, honestly, and frankly about their
trouble. Many of them shared with us their tremendous need to be informed, to be
kept up-to-date on their medical condition and to be told when the end was near.
We found out that patients who had been dealt with openly and frankly were
better able to cope with the approach of death and finally to reach a true stage
of acceptance prior to death. The need of most of the dying patients for company shows their desire for ______.