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For me the most interesting thing about a solitary life, and mine has been that for the last twenty years, is that it becomes increasingly rewarding. When I can wake up and watch the sun rise over the ocean, as I do most days, and know that I have an entire day ahead, uninterrupted, in which to write a few pages, take a walk with my dog, read and listen to music, I am flooded with happiness. I am lonely only when I am overtired, when I have worked too long without a break, when for the time being I feel empty and need filling up. And I am lonely sometimes when I come back home after a lecture trip, when I have seen a lot of people and talked a lot, and am full to the brim with experience that needs to be sorted out. Then for a little while the house feels huge and empty, and I wonder where my self is hiding. It has to be recaptured by watering the plants and, perhaps, by looking again at each one as though it were a person. It takes a while, as I watch the surf blowing up in fountains, but the moment comes when the world falls away, and the self emerges again from the deep unconscious, bringing back all I have recently experienced to be explored and slowly understood.
问答题
在人际关系问题上我们不要太浪漫主义。人是很有趣的，往往在接触一个人时首先看到的都是他或她的优点。这一点颇像是在餐馆里用餐的经验。开始吃头盘或冷碟的时候，印象很好。吃头两个主菜时，也是赞不绝口。愈吃愈趋于冷静，吃完了这顿宴席，缺点就都找出来了。于是转喜为怒，转赞美为责备挑剔，转首肯为摇头。这是因为：第一，开始吃的时候你正处于饥饿状态，而饿了吃糠甜如蜜，饱了吃蜜也不甜。第二，你初到一个餐馆，开始举筷时有新鲜感，新盖的茅房三天香，这也可以叫做“陌生化效应”吧。
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