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The central question is whether we have allowed a culture to develop that disables people for the challenges of marriage. Social emphasis on selfishness and self-centeredness, and the achievement oriented ethic of our business world encourage us to put family in second place. Marriage often represents the transition from such a world of selfishness to a world of giving. Family life is the normal context in which we can learn that a life tilled with thinking about others instead of ourselves is the sure road to the most fulfilling joys and satisfactions. But instead of preparing young people to learn this lesson, often we actually seem to be preparing them more for divorce than for marriage. Largely ignorant of the mysteries of giving, too many people enter marriage with high expectations of direct personal satisfaction, only to find themselves inevitably disappointed.
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