填空题

Secret 1
Your mother-in-law loves to help you--in fact, she insists on giving you the benefit of her vast experience. It’s much more likely that she feels undervalued in her own life. In my opinion, she wants to help, so let her--but in a way that suits you. Give her a role she can be good at- one you don’t mind giving up. For example, if she is determined to interfere in the kitchen and you hate cooking, let her bake cakes to her heart’s content. Don’t become possessive about roles and tasks you den’ t even want, only to score a point. If you choose to allow her to help, you retain control. Ease the tension by simply asking her advice--you don’t have to follow it. If she feels involved, she’ll feel less compelled to thrust herself on you.
Secret 2
Your mother-in-law doesn’t call you names. She doesn’t interfere and she doesn’t offer unwanted advice. In fact, sometimes you wish she did! Your friends say she sounds like a model mother-in-law. But you know better. As she sits there in silence, you sense that she’s positively burning with hostility--not least because you took her precious son away from her. If so, your best chance of making friends is to get her to see you as a person in your own right, not just the woman who stole her baby. But if this doesn’t work, the golden rule here is: don’t try too hard. If you known you’ve done your best to be friendly, you may have to settle for the fact that you are two different people, and the relationship you’ve got might be as good as it will ever get. Accept it, don’t feel guilty--and don’t waste any more time trying to make it perfect.
Secret 3
You feel you’re worlds apart. Maybe your husband’s family is a different class or different race, have a different lifestyle or culture from yours. You and your mother-in-law rarely agree about important issues and she simply doesn’t understand where you’re coming from. If so, don’t feel you have to judge everything by your own standards. Don’t assume that your way of doing things is absolutely the right way--you might not want to be exactly like them, but we can all learn something from other people’s way of life. You must know that overcoming fundamental differences in attitudes and lifestyles is never easy.
Secret 4
If your mother-in-law is openly hostile to you, get this straight. Your are unlikely to change her. But you can change how you respond to her. Next time she’s very rude and using offensive language towards you, show her you’re no longer prepared to put up with it. That doesn’t mean that, after years of saying nothing, you should suddenly scream, How dare you speak to me like that But you can send a couple of warning shots. Every time it happens, make so abrupt excuse and leave the room, go to the toilet, find something to do in the garden, If that doesn’t work, start dealing directly (but calmly) with each criticism as it arises, until she gets the message.
Secret 5
Lots of women do have lovely mother-in-law. But even if you get on well, it can take time and effort to build up a really good relationship--after all, you’re usually strangers to each ether for a large part of your lives, and then suddenly you become each other’s family. If you get on fine at the moment, but would like to be closer, the key is to build a friendship that’s between you two, and not dependent on your relationship with your husband. As well as doing things as a family, try to see her separately, too--go shopping with her, or find an interest you both share. Get to know her as a person, not just his morn. And don’t forget, there’s One subject she’ll almost certainly enjoy talking about--and that’s the man you married. Ask to see the family album and get her to talk about his childhood. She’ll love you for it.
Now match each of the Secrets (16 to 20) to the appropriate statement.
Note: there are two extra statements.

• A. Enjoy the differences if you’ve got nothing in common.
• B. Be a little more intimate if she’s great.
• C. Compromise with her if she gets involved.
• D. Be friendly with her if she interferes.
• E. Take it easy if she doesn’t like you.
• F. It’s how you feel that’s important, not how she behaves.
• G. Be hard on her if she’s hostil

Secret 4