The First Four Minutes
When do people decide whether or not they want to become friendsDuring their first four minutes together, according to a book by Dr. Leonard Zunin. In his book, "Contact: The firstfour minutes," he offers this advice to anyone interested in starting newfriendships: " 46__________A lot ofpeople’s whole lives would change if they did just that. "
You may have noticed that average person does not give his undividedattention to someone he as just met. 47__________Ifanyone has ever done this to you, you probably did not like him very much.
When we are introduced to new people, the author suggests, we shouldtry to appear friendly and self-confident. In general, he says, "Peoplelike people who like themselves. "
On the other hand, we should not make the other person think we aretoo sure of ourselves. It is important to appear interested and sympathetic, realizingthat the other person has his won needs, fears, and hopes.
Hearing such advice, one might say, "But I’m not a friendly,self-confident person. That’s not my nature, It would be dishonest for me to atthat way. "48__________We can become accustomed to any changes we chooseto make in our personality. "It is like getting used to a new car. It maybe unfamiliar at first, but it goes much better than the old one. "
But isn’t it dishonest to give the appearance of friendlyself-confidence when we don’t actually feel that way Perhaps, but according toDr. Zunin, "total nones is notalways good for social relationships, especially during the first few minutesof contact. There is a time for everything, and a certain amount of play-actingmay be best for the first few minutes of contact with a stranger. That is notthe time to complain about one’s health or to mention faults one finds in otherpeople. It is not the time to tell the whole truth about one’s opinions andimpressions.49 __________For a husband and wife or a parent and child, problemsoften arise during their first four minutes together after they have beenapart. Dr. Zunin suggests that these first few minutes together be treated withcare. If there are unpleasant matters to be discussed, they should be dealtwith later.The author says that interpersonal relations should be taught as arequired course in every school,along with reading, writing, andmathematics. 50__________that is at least as important as how much we know.
A. In reply, Dr. Zunin would claim that a little practice can helpus feel comfortable about changing our social habits.
B. Much of what has been said about strangers also applies torelationships with family members and friends.
C. In his opinion, success in life depends mainly on how we getalong with other people.
D. Every time you meet someone in a social situation, give himyour undivided attention for four minutes.
E. He keeps looking over the other person’s shoulder, as if hopingto find someone more interesting in another part of the room.
F. He is eager to make friends with everyone.