How Online Dating
Works One of the basic human impulses is to develop a
romantic relationship——and maybe even fall in love. But there are a lot of
obstacles that might keep someone from meeting the love of his or her life in
today’s world. Maybe dating co-workers is against company policy. Perhaps you
hate the bar scene. You might not be in the right mood to meet your soul mate
while you’re trekking(艰苦跋涉)through the grocery store. People of
all ages, lifestyles and locations have been facing this problem for decades. In
the last 10 years or so, a new solution has arrived to help lonely hearts find
their soul mates: online dating. Getting Started
Online dating is simply a method of meeting people, and it has advantages
and disadvantages. The variety of dating sites is constantly growing, with many
sites focused on very specific groups or interests. There arc sites for seniors,
sites for Muslims(穆斯林), sites for fitness-oriented people, sites for people just
looking for friends and sites for people who are interested in more adult
activities. This article will be focused on the most basic type of dating
site--one that works to bring two people together for a romantic relationship.
While this article applies to the majority of popular dating sites, the rules
and practices of any given individual site may differ. When you
first arrive at an online dating site, you can browse through profiles without
entering any information about yourself. The amount of information you can see
about each user depends on the site. Some sites allow users to restrict access
to their profiles to paying members. Photos might not be displayed unless you
have a paid membership. This helps preserve anonymity, since a co-worker or
family member can’t accidentally stumble across your profile. They’d have to pay
for a membership to see a picture of the person they’re reading about.
Once you decide you’re going to give it a shot, the first thing you need
to do is create your profile. Creating a Profile When
it’s time to make your own profile, you’ll start with some basic information.
Are you a man or a woman Are you looking to meet a man or a woman What age
range are you interested in Where do you live (Some sites just ask for a zip
code, while others may allow you to choose from a list of cities.) This is
generally the same information you provide to perform a simple search, or
"browse." Basic profile information may also include your
birthdate and a valid e-mail address. Site administrators will communicate with
you through this address, and some sites allow messages from users to be sent to
your e-mail anonymously. When they send you a message, it is routed through the
site’s system and redirected to your e-mail without the other user ever seeing
your address. Some sites use their own internal messaging system. If you’re
especially concerned about privacy, it’s easy enough to create a free e-mail
account somewhere and use it solely for your online dating contacts.
Indicating your physical attributes is usually the next step. Height,
weight, hair and eye color and body type are common pieces of data, while some
sites ask about piercings and tattoos. At this point, the process becomes
increasingly detailed. Interests and activities, favorite sports, authors, music
or movies, how you like to spend weekend— these topics are all fair game. More
personal questions might involve whether or not you have children, whether or
not you want children, your religious beliefs and your political views. Pets,
occupation, income and living situation are usually on the list as
well. Next, you’ll be asked to answer many of these same
questions a second time, but instead of indicating your own traits, you’ll be
describing your ideal date. The site will then use this information and the
information you provided about yourself to find suitable matches that you might
want to contact. Most sites will also allow you to write about yourself in a
more free form manner--a chance to get across more of your personality than a
series of pull-down lists can offer. Posting a photo of yourself
is another important step. Most sites report a huge increase in responses to ads
that have photos posted. There will usually be guidelines as to what sorts of
photo you can post, and there might be an approval process before it actually
gets posted. In general, avoid posting revealing photos, don’t post photos with
people other than yourself in them and don’t post glossy, "glam" photos.
Although you want to look your best, try and make sure the photo is accurate to
how you currently look. If you’re 35, your high school year look photo isn’t a
good choice. If you recently dyed your hair purple, try to get a photo that
reflects that. There’s one last rule that needs to be mentioned,
and it’s an important one: Don’t put personal identification information in your
profile. This includes your address, phone-number, social security number, full
name or place of employment. You might meet people on the site that you’ll want
to share some of that information with down the line, but it should never be
public knowledge. Now, let’s go through some helpful tips on
creating a profile that encourages people to contact you. Creating a Good
Profile If you browse through a typical dating site, you
will see hundreds of ads from people who are "looking for Mr. Right.
"Nearly everyone "enjoys a night out on the town, but also likes a quiet
evening at home." It would be difficult to find someone who doesn’t like a good
sense of humor in a date. Begin with the subject. Inject some
humor into your subject-line or include one of your interests. "Bogart fan
seeking unusual suspects." "Come sail away with this boating enthusiast/Styx
fan." This is the first thing people will see, and it needs to stand out from
the crowd. When it comes to the profile itself, make sure you
fill out the whole thing. Take your time and put some thought into it. It may
seem tedious or difficult to describe yourself, but leaving sections blank or
putting in short, generic answers makes it look like you aren’t really
interested. Avoid phrases like, "I wouldn’t normally use one of these dating
services, but my friends put me up to this." Remember, your target audience is
other people who are using this dating service. You don’t want to start off by
insulting them. Think of specific aspects of your personality
that you want to highlight. Then, don’t just state them-- demonstrate them.
Instead of, "I enjoy Stanley Kubrick films," say, "The other night I was
watching ’A Clockwork Orange, ’ and I found myself thinking it would be a lot
more fun to watch and discuss it with someone else. "Humor is especially
important. Not everyone shares the same sense of humor, so saying "I’m a funny
person" isn’t sufficient. "I love quoting lines from Monty Python sketches and
Simpsons episodes" gives other users a better grasp of your
personality. Another key to success is knowing what you want and
putting it in your profile. You’ll get more responses from people who are
looking for the same thing you are, whether you want to settle down with a
long-term relationship or just want a date for Friday night. "I think there is
more of a mental connection first by online dating," said one user, a teacher
from New York. "Also, you know what you’re looking for, not what your
friends think would be ’perfect’ for you." Last but not least,
mind your grammar. Poor grammar and spelling doesn’t lead to a good first
impression, so take the time to get it right. Too many grammar and spelling mistakes are likely to lead to a ______.