问答题

Self-esteem is what people think about themselves — whether or not they feel valued — and when family members have self-respect, pride, and belief in themselves, this high self-esteem makes it possible to cope with the everyday problems or growing up. Self-esteem fluctuates as kids grow. It"s frequently changed and fine-tuned, because it is affected by a child"s experiences and new perceptions. A healthy self-esteem is a resource for coping when difficulties arise, making it easier to see a problem as temporary, manageable, and something from which the individual can emerge. How can a parent help to foster healthy self-esteem in a child These tips can make a big difference: 41. Watch what you say Kids are very sensitive to parents" words. Remember to praise your child not only for a job well done, but also for effort. Be truthful. Be a positive role model. If you"re excessively harsh on yourself, pessimistic, or unrealistic about your abilities and limitations, your child may eventually mirror you. Nurture your own self-esteem, and your child will have a great role model. 42. Identify and redirect your child"s inaccurate beliefs It"s important for parents to identify kids" irrational beliefs about themselves, whether they"re about perfection, attractiveness, ability, or anything else. Helping kids set more accurate standards and be more realistic in evaluating themselves will help them have a healthy self-concept. Inaccurate perceptions of self can take root and become reality to kids. 43. Be spontaneous and affectionate Your love will go a long way to boost your child"s self-esteem. Give hugs and tell kids you"re proud of them. 44. Create a safe, loving home environment Kids who don"t feel safe or are abused at home will suffer immensely from low self-esteem. A child who is exposed to parents who fight and argue repeatedly may become depressed and withdrawn. 45. Help kids become involved in constructive experiences Activities that encourage cooperation rather than competition are especially helpful in fostering self-esteem. Find professional help If you suspect your child has low self-esteem, consider professional help. Family and child counselors can work to uncover underlying issues that prevent a child from feeling good about himself or herself. Therapy can help kids learn to view themselves and the world positively. When kids see themselves in a more realistic light, they can accept who they truly are. With a little help, every child can develop healthy self-esteem for a happier, more fulfilling life.[A] Pop a note in your child"s lunchbox that reads, "I think you"re terrific!" Give praise frequently and honestly, without overdoing it. Kids can tell whether something comes from the heart.[B] For example, mentoring programs in which an older child helps a younger one learn to read can do wonders for both kids.[C] For example, if your child doesn"t make the soccer team, avoid saying something like, "Well, next time you"ll work harder and make it. " Instead, try "Well, you didn"t make the team, but I"m really proud of the effort you put into it. " Reward effort and completion instead of outcome.[D] A better statement is, "You were really mad at your brother. But I appreciate that you didn"t yell at him or hit him." This acknowledges a child"s feelings, rewards the choice made, and encourages the child to make the right choice again next time.[E] For example, a child who does very well in school but struggles with math may say, "I can"t do math. I"m a bad student." Not only is this a false generalization, it"s also a belief that will set the child up for failure. Encourage kids to see the situation in its true light. A helpful response might be: "You are a good student. You do great in school. Math is just a subject that you need to spend more time on. We"ll work on it together."[F] Also watch for signs of abuse by others, problems in school, trouble with peers, and other factors that may affect kids" self-esteem. Deal with these issues sensitively but swiftly. And always remember to respect your kids.[G] Children benefit from chores and activities that offer a real challenge because they stretch their abilities and give them a sense of accomplishment. Children as young as 18-month old can do chores around the house. It is best to start as early as possible so that children learn that chores are a part of life and so that they will struggle less when you ask them to do things.